My brother was on NPR! He showed up on 848, a nifty show on WBEZ, Chicago Public Radio. He edited a book on jive talk. That’s right, jive. Diggeth thou?
Some notes to guide your listening:
· Over/Under on number of times my brother says "Absolutely" in a 9 minute interview --- 27. (There is obviously not much left up to interpretation in history for my brother. He has it all nailed down pretty exactly.)
· Throughout: Tommy railroading this Richard Steele character. Steele obviously has no sense of the rhythms of a jive-talking professor, and can't help but step on the T-Bag's flow over and over.
· Throughout: The dragging out of sounds. Tommy thinks this produces a dominant lisp, but what it more obviously leads to is that signature throatiness, a sortof "If I knew how to whisper, I'd be doing it right now", or maybe an "I'm in my office and people can hear me out in the hall, so I need to be quiet but I need to make sure I'm not whispering." If you try that, you can go one of two routes: you can get breathy, or you can use as little air flow as possible. The Bag has definitely chosen the latter route. Signature example at 3:03: "He colleeeeccctttsss..."
· 2:50: "If you hear that, you know she might be a little alcoholic... [creepy giggle]" Wow. Nothing to add here. I’m just proud to say that’s my closest blood relative.
Since I know this has only whetted your appetite: my brother’s Amazon listings (with more on the way!).
Now, I know this might come as both a surprise and a disappointment, but I will not be using any jive talk in this Listserv update. I know, sad, right? Why, you might then ask, am I such a killjoy? Well, I hate to break it to you, Listerv, but I am old. I am now in my fourth decade on this earth, and I can no longer muster the energy to conjure up superficial, ambiguously-racially-insensitive jokes about a dialect I know only from Airplane.
So, to repeat (because I’m old, and that’s how I tumble…no, roll). I’m old. I’m—to euphemize—experienced. As a 30 year old, I feel fully qualified to describe my experience watching the Vandy-LSU game with a good ole, down home nugget of folksy wisdom: “The more things change, the more things stay the same.”
Vandy—differences:
· Throwing quarterback (not unheard of, but different from the past several years).
· Athletic, promising, awesome running backs (that’s right, plural).
· Holes opened by offensive line—against a stout defense—for backs to run through.
Vandy—things staying the same:
· Breakdowns – wide receivers made me cringe. They failed the “Mom test” at least 3 times. (missing plays that my mom could make in real life). Seriously, I almost punched the TV’s in the sports bar, even though I knew it couldn’t hurt those jerks in real life.
· Defense: This one is in a good way. Still solid, perhaps even more so. Decent against the run, decent against the pass, lots of bend but not breaking. [For sad-faced developments, skip ahead 10 lines.]
· Overpowered offense. Even with what seemed to me to be demonstrable improvements in so many phases of offense, we still sucked overall. 7 points! Poop! A brand new, no huddle, spread offense that produced the exact same results as last year’s offense! Is it Ted Cain? Is it personnel? Is it something inherent in the spiritual essence of a Vanderbilt offense? Another thing staying the same: I have no idea how to diagnose problems.
Bottom Line: Zac Stacy, our freshman RB, can take me to the prom any time. He’s a badass.
Additional note: We had some horrible injuries that will really make this year tough. Ryan Hamilton, stalwart senior safety, tore his pectoral muscle (I can’t imagine exerting my chest areas strongly enough to tear those muscles from the bones to which the good lord attached them). James Williams, starting right tackle (and only a redshirt sophomore!) hurt his ankle. Both are out……………………………………………….for the season. Gulp.
We’ve never had a lot of room for injuries. Our defense is officially being tested.
Luckily, we play Rice next week. They are, by all statistical measures, bad. We. Must. Win.
This ‘new’, ‘innovative’ offense has a LOT to prove. The defense will unfortunately have a new face and, thus, has a lot to prove. At some point in the middle of his interview, my brother calls jazz the music of the dispossessed. There’s some potential metaphor there for Vandy football fans that I’d prefer not to have to work out with my tiny brain. So please, Dores, help me out here. Beat a crappy team, preferably by a lot. Don’t make me have to think!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If we win, we can simply continue down the path to consecutive bowl games and a reputation unmatched since the first quarter of the 20th century.
Next week, maybe we even dig up some cute animal photos from the internet. Diggeth thou?
Dynamite.
ps - no, I'm not addressing the fact that it's been eons since I've updated the Listserv. You knew that already, and it just kind of happened. I've been really, really, really, really really, really really really, reallyreallyreallyreally busy. Just swamped. But now? We're back. How could I not be? It's football season, the professional football team in my town has 5 Vandy players on its roster, and we're finally getting a summer in Chicago now that it's late September. Life is good. Be well, Listervians, and root for those Dores.
pps - OK, you're right, I can't resist cute animal photos, even if I didnt' bother to work them into the post. Here you go!!!!!

ppps-We're 1-1. Stay tuned for more bigger-picture analysis/hopes/fears. If you publish it, they will come...
pppps - Listserv friend and all-around good guy Cory Cavin has won an Emmy! That's right, a real life Emmy. Yes, he writes a blog. But unlike this blog with updates every 5 months and pictures of bunnies, he writes a blog that wins Emmies! Do him a favor and check out Jimmy Fallon's internet website blog thing. Professionals have awarded it trophies!